Just 4 Rubies

Imagine a teenage girl playing games with her friends, only to be cornered by some old men/women, dragged down and subjected to some severe cuttings in her private part. And while she is groaning in pains and bleeding, the perpetrators and family members begin to wine and dine. A woman once narrated her ordeal. “I was seven months pregnant when my mother insisted I be circumcised. I refused, but she and other older women persuaded me, saying it to widen my vagina orifice and make delivery easier. They also said that if the head of a baby touches the clitoris, he will die. I obliged and by the time they were through, I felt really horrible. In fact, I lay in a pool of blood for some time. I later realised that I should have conserved enough blood for childbirth. How sad that when it was time for me to deliver, I ended up in hospital where I had to be transfused with blood before I could recover strength. I escaped death narrowly.” The question is, if male circumcision is m...

Beatrice Rumaga (not real name) is in every respect a dignified lady. She hails from Benue State, a minority base in the middle belt area of Nigeria. Tall, slim and elegant, she is an epitome of beauty, much to be desired by men. But she is bitter against her people; she is aggrieved with a tradition, which compelled her to be circumcised at the age of 16. Her story: “At 16, a lady is considered ripe for marriage, and just before she is given out to a man, she is expected to go through circumcision. And so when the community elders came to make this demand, I objected and told them I was not interested. But my parents would have none of such eccentric behaviour. ‘It is forbidden’ my father thundered. My mother cried and pleaded that I consent to it so as to uphold the communal tradition and also prevent my family from being ostracized. I could not help but oblige.” And what happened afterward? “Two old men dragged me down on top of some banana leaves and cut off my clito...

The birth of a baby is a noble experience for every mother. It is one rapturous feeling that we all look forward to. Yes! A new born baby is often regarded as a bundle of joy; hence the act of cuddling such comes with unexplainable peace and happiness. It does not matter what the sex of the baby is; No, it does not matter if the tiny life is a boy or girl. What matters most is the tranquillity, the peace, the glow and the hope that the arrival of the baby brings. Unfortunately however, despite the many years of advancement in science and technology, there are still strong indications to believe that the female gender is somewhat doomed to be a part of the human race. The story of creation that we learnt as little children said God first created the man, then the woman: not for the woman to be subservient but for her to be a suitable helper to the man; and for both of them to fulfil specific roles in the human family. There is also a popular saying that while the man is th...

  By William Petroceli What’s the most important thing men can do for themselves? The answer seems clear to me: work for the empowerment of women. For the last 20 years I’ve described myself as feminist. This sometimes raises eyebrows. Women occasionally look at me skeptically, thinking maybe I’ve grabbed a phrase that I know little about. Men often take it as an indication that I’ve abandoned the “team” - some probably think I’m using it as a pick-up line. And, of course, I started describing myself as a feminist just about the time that the popular media gave up on the term and moved on to something else. Nevertheless, I’ve reached the point where feminism has become the intellectual framework that I look to first in analyzing political, economic, and social issues. I find that it cuts through a lot of misinformation and distraction and gets to the core of a problem. The reason is simple. The empowerment of women is crucial to solving a lot of seemin...

Sir Tor Uja, his wife Berry and their amazing daughters Incredible but true! Ladies and gents I'd like to introduce you to the first parents in Nigeria (I stand corrected) who have 5 KIDS, All GIRLS, All LAWYERS!!!

She is UK's new Prime Minister. In spite of the ragging storm and seeming uncertainties as to what the future holds for her country, she has vowed to lead a "one nation" government that works for all; not just the "privileged few". She is a symbol of strong leadership; courage and hope. Indeed, women are nation moulders.

Having touched extensively on the characteristics of a violent or abusive spouse, the question is “Does it really pay to be violent or to treat one’s spouse violently? Does domestic violence provide answer or lasting solution to our marital problems and differences? Marriage counsellors give an emphatic “No”. Some of their reasons are: Violence in the home usually becomes more frequent and severe over time. The abuser’s apologies do not mean the violence will not occur again. Children who grow up in violent homes come to believe that violence is normal. They come to see it as an acceptable way to control someone else. The majority of adult violent prisoners today are said to have been raised from violent homes. Violence is not an evidence of love; in fact it is an indicator of the dearth of true love and affection. It is often part of a pattern of threats, insults, insane jealousy, explosive temper, and attempts to isolate and overpower the victim. Psychologist...

4.  Blame Shift - An abusive partner blames others for his/her own problems or negative feeling: in fact, he/she is quick to shift blame on his/her partner even when it is so glaring that he/she is in the wrong and has played the fool. The selfish tendency makes it difficult to admit his/her fault and make amends. 5. Quick to accuse of cheating : Where there is violence, there cannot be total trust. Instead, there will be so much suspicion and fear of being abandoned or dumped for another person who probably is more humane and caring. Any wonder then that at the slightest provocation, your partner accuses you of cheating on him or her. 6. Poor self-esteem and hypersensitivity : A violent partner has low self-esteem and low self-control. He/she is afraid of being disrespected. He doesn’t believe in himself/herself or his/her ability to win his spouse’s respect and love. 7. Cruelty to children or pet animals : There is the constant displacing of anger or what we call...

“What on earth would make a man turn violent with his wife?” asked Charles, a 29-year-old man whose wedding is barely two weeks old and is still savouring the sweet sensation of honeymoon. His question was timely, as it was the same thing bugging the mind of many of his colleagues who had just watched on television the story of a woman being strangulated by her husband. “No one is spared; in fact no one is likely to be spared”, answered his more experienced friend, Tim. If this is excusable with a married couple because they have tied the nuptial cord and are bound by conjugal covenant, how does one explain the case of a guy who made advances to a lady and because the lady in question refused, the guy beat the lady up and even went as far as using a hammer to remove two of her teeth? A true life story, the duo recently served as Youth Corpers in Abia State where the incident happened. And as if that were not enough, the NYSC coordinator insisted the lady must forgive the abus...

It’s not because they’re inherently harsher leaders than men, but because they often respond to sexism by trying to distance themselves from other women. There are two dominant cultural ideas about the role women play in helping other women advance at work, and they are seemingly at odds: the Righteous Woman and the Queen Bee. The Righteous Woman is an ideal, a belief that women have a distinct moral obligation to have one another’s backs. This kind of sentiment is best typified by Madeleine Albright’s now famous quote , “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other!” The basic idea is that since all women experience sexism, they should be more attuned to the gendered barriers that other women face. In turn, this heightened awareness should lead women to foster alliances and actively support one another. If women don’t help each other, this is an even worse form of betrayal than those committed by men. And hence, the special place in hell reserved fo...