The Sons We Never Nurtured
I am a mother of 5 children; 1 biological, 4 adopted. I am still under 30 years old and yet have suffered under the fatal and cruel menace of the deadly pregnancy disease known as Pre-Eclampisa. I have lost two sons because of this pregnancy disorder. Twice my husband and I have had to bury our two sons. My own life has been at risk because of this disease. I say I cannot and will not go through this anymore. This “Pregnancy Induced Hypertension Disease” is gradually becoming prevalent in this part of our world and only Heaven knows and can recount the silent grief and tears mothers, fathers and families have shed because of the disease. It is the cause of 40% of maternal death in Ghana.
I seek to share my story with all mothers out there who have suffered the same fate under pre-eclampsia; to let them know that they are not alone and to all women and yet-to-be mothers; to create awareness that this life threatening disease Pre-eclammpsia is real, one we must strongly guard ourselves against and prevent to minimize infant and maternal mortality rate in our beloved country.
I suffered the condition of Eclampisa with my first pregnancy at 27 weeks in the month of October 2012. As a new couple, we were looking forward to being parents and having our first child who per the scan was a girl but only came out to be a boy. Ignorant to the existence of this disease even though I had been attending antenatal at a private hospital, I totally blacked out and became unconscious on the 5th October, 2012 as my blood pressure skyrocketed to about 240/180. I know not what happened but I almost died and the only way to save my life was to deliver the premature baby through emergency Caesarean Section. It was my husband who saw it all and carried me to the hospital, oh how he suffered!
So tiny and undeveloped was our baby boy, not ready to face the outside world and after 8 days he died because of respiratory failure. His death was so painful because I had held and bathe this tiny baby for three days. I recall his tiny body and face and on the day when I last saw him, I knew, I felt my son was suffering and was pleading with me to let him go. Such suffering in his eyes I could not stand.
His loss broke me down mentally and physically; for he was our first child, the fruit of our love as a newly married couple. Words cannot describe the loss but we sailed through and were blessed 6 months later with the conception of our baby girl who is now 3 years old. She was delivered nearly full term at 37 weeks as the onset of PREECLAMPSIA delayed and began around 34 weeks.
Fast forward to 2017, I suffered this same loss with my 2nd son who is the 3rd born of my children. This time it was the condition Pre-Eclampisa which killed my son, I still don’t even understand scientifically how and why my almost 28 weeks old boy could just die in my womb. One fateful day in March 2017, the fetal heartbeat of my child could not be felt. My blood pressure remained high and to make matters worse I had to wait two days more to get the dead fetus out. Oh such pain I had to go through with no compensation of a baby to heal my wounds! As I lay down in the theater/delivery room that day, as I tried to calm my mental agony and fears I said to myself "No No, I will not go through this again!’ This is supposedly my last chance according to science, two C-sections with one surviving child, my lovely girl Deoli, this was seemingly the final one to close the baby making deal, so why this again…………???!!!
Though, this is not my dream, and a painful one as such I know not what to do, for spiritually I desire more children but physically hmmmm...I pray for God’s miracle and for His will to prevail.
Written By The Fabulous Koiwah Koi Larbi Ofosuapea, Vice President of CENCORD