Just 4 Rubies

Coming from an incredibly odious background with little or no hope of survival, Ijeoma Sorochi-Okorie is one amazing woman that waded through numerous hurdles but has today assumed a Star-Status both nationally and internationally. She is today the Founder of Teenz Global Foundation and Co-founder of Open Community Schools and Network. She is also a Media and Development Specialist with over five years’ experience of working directly with children and young people. Her astonishing journey started weeks before she was born due to the fact that her parents had an unstable relationship and were separated before her arrival. Her words, “Growing up was not fun for me. It was a very turbulent experience that I wish no child should go through. The fact that my parents had issues and were separated before I was born left me in an unstable state with little or no care.” “I experienced verbal, emotional and psychological abuse as a child. Child maltreatment and battering was norm for me. ...

Trust your instincts, though. You know your friend. And from that encounter in the store, you know that something is definitely wrong. So please, don’t be afraid to follow up with her. Start with a phone call. But ease into it: Don’t immediately launch into how you think she’s being abused, or anything like that. If her abuser’s at home when you call, she won’t say anything of substance, anyway. You simply want to convey the message that you’re concerned and want to help. Keep your words loving and gentle—and pressure-free. Say something like, “I know you’re busy now. But when you have a few minutes to yourself, give me a call. I’m worried about you and want to help. I love you.”  Keep the call brief, but be clear: You’re worried, you want to help, and you love her. If she doesn’t call back right away, call her again. Keep reaching out to her. Try to reach her when you know she’s alone or at least away from him. Remember, your goal is to help, not endanger her any fu...

Here’s what you don’t know: Your friend would love nothing more than to fall into your arms and ask for help. But she won’t. She can’t. She’s too ashamed. As awful as you think she looks, she believes she looks even worse. In a relatively short period of time, her boyfriend has gotten into her head and convinced her that she’s ugly, stupid, and worthless. Your friend no longer puts any effort into her looks because he’ll either accuse her of dressing up for some “other man,” or he’ll just tell her she looks like crap anyway—so there’s no point in trying anymore.   Sweatpants are her new best friend. She doesn’t call anymore because she’s embarrassed by her life. That wonderful guy she bragged about in the beginning has turned into a monster. And she knows that if her friends knew how bad things were, they’d think she was just as stupid as he says she is—and maybe she is. After all, she still loves him. So maybe she’s getting exactly what she deserves. At least th...

When I fled my abusive relationship for the last time (yes, I left and went back), one of the first things my well-meaning friends and family asked was why I never told them what was happening to me. “Why didn’t you say something,” they’d ask, looking concerned and confused.  “I could have helped you. I could have done something!” And I believe them. Had they known how horrible my life had become, I have no doubt that they would have done their best to help me. But all this happened more than twenty years ago. Today, I’m healed, emotionally healthy, and over it—and have the clarity of hindsight to see that my friends and family would have helped me. But back then, not so much. Because when you’re in the thick of things, in the middle of a Hell that you’re convinced is of your own making, you can’t see anything clearly. Fear and shame consume you—they’re your constant companions. And when you look at your family and friends, you often can only see judgment and derision. Y...

"A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand, "he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason, "was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry... Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God , why do women cry so easily ?" God said "When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up and take care of her family through sickness and f...