Cultural Re-orientation- Panacea For Gender-Based Violence!

Dignitaries and facilitators at the event

Considering the upsurge in the cases of domestic violence and the many sided issues that tend to endanger the lives of women and girls in Nigeria today, there is perhaps no better time than now for stakeholders to converge and share experiences with a view to providing strategies and modalities for protecting and safeguarding women.

This, amongst other things was what informed the initiative of the just-concluded WAPA Connect Conference, which held recently at the expansive hall of 10 Degrees Event Centre, Billings Way, Ikeja where women from all walks of life gathered to learn from one another and unite for an affirmative action to liberate victims of gender based violence.

Speaking on the theme of the conference, Fostering Domestic Harmony through Multi-Perspective Analysis and Graphic Display/Entrepreneurship in the 21^st Century, the chief host and Honourable Commissioner or Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviaiton, Dr. Lola Akande, defined violence as “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women…whether occurring in public or private life.”

While describing GBV as a “breach of the fundamental right to life, liberty, security, dignity, freedom from discrimination, assurances of physical and mental integrity”, Akande stressed the need to educate the public on impacts of violence, especially on women and children, which she said includes death, disability and illness, reproductive health problems, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, abortion, maternal morbidity and psychological imbalance in children.
“When children witness incidents of violence against their mothers, its affects their psyche and predisposes them to violent behaviour and social vices because witnessing family violence in childhood is associated with a greater likelihood that sons and daughters will be either perpetrators or victims of violence”, noted Akande.
She further stressed that the theme of the conference ‘Fostering Domestic Harmony” is of paramount importance, considering the spate of suicide cases and other behavioural vices as reported across the country today.

In proffering solution, Akande stressed the need for women to be economically empowered through the varied skill acquisition programs of the Lagos State government and be financially independent. She noted that “financial independence in women curbs a great percentage of the total number of domestic abuse by helping women not only to assert their rights but also the violent partner finds the woman less vulnerable to abuses due to less dependability.

The wife of the State Governor, Mrs. Bolanle Ambode reiterated that “Lagos State believes that women’s empowerment is crucial to poverty alleviation and domestic harmony, hence all efforts must be geared towards interventions to address issues of women in the state.
Ambode urged stakeholders to galvanise all efforts towards accelerating economic empowerment of women, adding that “all hands must be on deck as we take steps towards gender equality and inclusive governance.”

The conference, which featured a wide range of erudite speakers that shared from their repertoire of knowledge and experiences, was by all standards a richly loaded and impactful event that brought to the front burners the core issues around gender inequalities.
These include interactive discussions on Human trafficking and Sexual exploitation, Legal Perspective to Domestic Violence, the Model Woman, Domestic Violence- a Man’s Perspective, Taming a Violent Spouse – a Non-violent Revolutionarily Approach, Entrepreneurship in the 21^st Century, Digital training/Exposure to Technological Advances, Innovation/Invention Sustainability as well as Creativity in Business.  
It was an emotional moment for participants as Hon. Abike Dabiri Erewa divulged data-based information on the pathetic spate of human trafficking of under-aged girls to other countries for prostitution and modern-day slavery.

“Trafficking is no longer an Edo State problem. It is a national problem. In fact, it is human tragedy. Under the administration of President Buhari alone, over 2500 girls that were trafficked to different parts of the world have been brought back home. And because the world is getting tougher for everyone, distress calls have continued to come to us to bring our girls back home. In Bukina Faso alone, over 70 girls of age 14 and below are begging to be brought back home. Some of these girls were trafficked by their parents/guardians but now they are stranded, having been used for prostitution and left hungry and empty. Many of them have also died in the cause of moving from place to place. When you see the girls that we have brought back, you will cry. They are empty. They come back with nothing. Many are in different shelters in Lagos. We recently had a15 years old with 2 months old baby”, narrated Erewa.

She however argued that economic empowerment is critical to the survival of these girls, adding that their utmost needs are rehabilitation, re-integration and recovery. She also appealed to the Lagos State government to provide psycho-social support to the returnees; even as we do all we can to ensure they are productive.
She further urged Nigerian government to tighten security at its borders and enforce stiffer penalty measures such as death sentence on child traffickers.

Is the law ever enough?, asked Mr. Taiwo Akinlami while talking on the Legal Perspective to Domestic Violence. He noted that laws are made on count of deterrents and stressed that we must go beyond what the law says and rather review our social system and policies.
While lamenting at the fact that society sees women the same way we see children and has a very weak support system for victims of domestic violence, he stressed the need for enlightenment and re-orientation.
“There must be enlightenment; in fact, it is superior to enforcement. We must understand our entity so we can destroy the factory that is producing children to become abusers and wives who endure abuse, said Akinlami.

He berated the fact that “oftentimes, the girl child is made to see herself as responsible for the success of the marriage while the boy-child is raised to do anything and get away with it” and warned that “When man is pure, the law is useless but when there is corruption, laws are broken”, hence the need to overhaul our value system at all levels instead of just focusing on punitive measures on perpetrators of domestic violence.

According to Life Coach, Mr. Lanre Olusola, the reason why domestic violence is still thriving is because we permit it and cover up because we don’t want our families to be stigmatized. He stressed that in every case of gender based violence, there are three victims, namely- the abuser, the abused and the observer.
“Abuse is not only physical – there is financial, sexual, verbal, emotional abuse too. Also, not only women are abused. 40% of abused victims are men and one most dangerous effect of abuse is emotional, psychological and mental pain; the victim is extremely traumatized.”
“The abuser lack self-worth, self-identity and self-belief. The abuser is not okay. The abuser lacks respect for himself/herself and the other person, in fact, abuse has mental implication to the abuser”, he added.

He therefore called on parents, traditional rulers, policy makers and other stakeholders to unite and break the chain of tradition which makes women subservient to men and forces them to ensure abuse.
"We must re-unite our tradition, our culture and our own belief-system. Our culture says women should be subservient to men but we must change this mind-set. Beyond the law, there must be cultural re-orientation. We must teach our daughters to know that it is not okay to accept abuse. We must empower our women and teach them self-defence”, said he.
“The abusers need help, so we must expose them to therapy and mentorship. Most likely they have been mentored by abusers in the past but now, we must involve men of high moral standards to mentor them and speak against the evil”, he added.

Other speakers at the epoch-making event include Praise Fowowe, Dr. Demilade Longe, Dr. Kemi Ibru-Dasilva, Pastor Mrs. Funke Felix Adejumo, Kenny St. Brown, Adeolu Akinyemi, Funke Opeke, Betty Irabor, Ayodeji Megbope and Tara Durotoye.